One tough nut's Journal

1:01PM - I'm going to georgia

i'm going to fort benning georgia for basic training and airborne school. if any you kids want to hang out when i get weekends message me, i'm leaving for there september 28.

2:24PM - wow

1:11PM - Hola

Oh my god there is aryan radio station at whitepride.com, i have just shit my pants and gone to heaven :o). Anywho, today shall be good, hopefully sydney and her kidney will get home soon and we can see each other. gonna drink some bers with joshy boy too. well hope everyone is well. take care

12:33PM - yo yo yo

ohhh man. it has been a while, i have been lazy and didn't feel like posting. stressed as hell also.this navy shit is driving me crazy. i have to finish my training manual or i don't get in and i'm not doing very good with it. i haven't seen scarlet in a long time as well. i'm pretty upset about that. her mom is starting to come around though, and i'm holding my tongue. my pride isn't worth not being able to see my little worm. lol, she is so cute. i miss her. she likes to say daddy now, i always here her say it when i call to check on her. i can't wait to play like a 1 year old with her and take naps while watching blues clues. just like the good ol' days. anywho, i can't wait til april 4! gonna have some cool company at the new apartment. i got to get a new job to pay bills though and i'm having trouble finding one. but i'll make it. amanda better hurry!! anyways it may be a while till i am back on seeing as our computer is a little fucker. we have to fix it somehow. i say we just throw it off the interstate 30 bridge at oncoming traffic. way more fun!but yeah, if you need or want to get a hold of me after wednesday the number is 817 861 0724. also check out my new pictures on my space. my email is bovversailor@hotmail.com. DO IT! ok, i'm going now.

5:37AM

my life is so fucked sometimes. i wonder if i'm gonna make it through this year. fuck, all this drama and fucking everytime something good comes in my life the rug gets pulled out from under me. i need this shit. i need a job and i need the navy. fuck. i need to learn to stop caring about people. it just ends up ruining my life, i put them before me and i end up getting fucked over. i'm gonna quit before i write something i'll regret.

5:25AM - The Unruly, couldn't have put this better

my sight of glory's a thing of the past
but i only mind liking to sit on my ass
and i push myself daily for the quest of mine
and when i find my course, i will not be denied

i work hard from day to day, and i don't understand the youth of today
is there no hero, to put them right?
just a load of people with no goals in sight, but i know

all i can do is just look out for me
through perserverance and fortitude, they'll come to their knees
because i got my hero they know my beliefs
i look in the mirror and there he is, a face that you can see

i know i will

5:26AM - december 21

Aaron hadn't eaten in a while...granted he was grumpy......

OldGloryLoyalist: I'll be a funny guy after I eat something. Cause I'm not joking when I say I'm pissed off.
armedriotpunx: why's your dad taking his time?
OldGloryLoyalist: Don't know really. Said he was going to pick something up from Target then he was going to come home.
armedriotpunx: hmmm, i'm thinking crazy christmas shoppers
OldGloryLoyalist: Yeah well he better have a damn good explanation.
armedriotpunx: hahaha
armedriotpunx: you are scaring me aaron
OldGloryLoyalist: My dad should just know better not to fuck with me and tell me one thing and do another.
armedriotpunx: haha yeah i hear that
armedriotpunx: dads especially
OldGloryLoyalist: He better had been caught behind some huge wreck or some shit like that.
OldGloryLoyalist: Cause 3 hours...that's fuckin' bullshit.
armedriotpunx: lol
OldGloryLoyalist: Last time I had something to eat was about 30 hours ago. So yeah...I'm fuckin' him up.
armedriotpunx: hahaha. damn dude, i would say come to my place, but you live a couple out of the way
OldGloryLoyalist: He just got here...and he brought nothing.
OldGloryLoyalist: Said he ate at the place cause he was hungry.
armedriotpunx: OH SHIT! don't kill him!!!!!
armedriotpunx: hahahaha
armedriotpunx: sorry dude
OldGloryLoyalist: Yeah I'm out of here.
OldGloryLoyalist: Later man.

5:25AM - yep this one is late too

Monday, December 22, 2003

Today was shit...

i'm sick of my fucking job. its fucking depressing boring work with a bunch of assholes who can't speak english 12 hours a day. why wouldn't i try to get a new one. fuck that place. its fucking infested with illegals who just wanna start shit with white boys like me. if i go tommorow i'll probably lose it and fucking throw down this one shit talking prick. man, fuck. fuck it. skrewwwwdrivvvver. ahhhhhhhh. much better. and diana, she is good with giving me smiles. what a girl. ok things are smoothing out.

5:24AM - old entry just now puttin in

bullshit...

today was fucking shitty. i felt like shit all day, tried to find a job, but got nowhere. i took off from work cause i hate my job. it's fucking depressing, and i need a new job soon anyways.times are rough, money is tight, and abra is being her normal self. i think she is dating a squatter. what the fuck? how can someone date a homeless dude, especially one that chooses to be that way. he's a damn drunk that takes all her money and i'm tired of her expecting more money from me so they can get drunk and high. i need to get custody of scarlet, but thats kind of impossible. i also need to get my shit from lindsay. i don't want to see her, but i need my shit. its pissing me off. i guess i made my life this complicated, but i really didn't know these women would turn out like this. my back hurts too, i fucked it up the other day. wow, this is a retarded entry.

1:06AM

hmm, tonight i have been drinking... alot. christmas was weird. i don't really know what to think. and i called to tell abra (baby momma) i would give her money if my liitle daughter scarlet could come over and she still said no. to top it off i'm listening to 2 depressing lynyrd skynyrd songs on repeat. it sucks, it's scarlet's first christmas. i'm a wreck. i wish i was gone already. at least there would be a reason i couldn't be here, but i have to sit here alone on christmas day and wish i was with her. i hate my life sometimes.

12:42PM

my christmas is gonna be bittersweet i guess. i can't have everything, but it still bothers me. i'm gonna have my first real christmas in 4 or 5 years, totally awesome. :o) but there is still that one thing, no scarlet, and no scarlet's mom. how can she do that to me on christmas? its not fair man. its her first christmas and i won't get to be with her. i would much rather not have a christmas ever for all this stuff to pass, and for me to just to be able to be with my little girl. i miss her. everyone leaves for new york tommorow so i'll be all alone in my apartment, and i hate being alone, besides i am sick as a dog. sometimes my life just doesn't seem to ever pick up, but i am thankful for the small stuff. like how great my freinds can be, and the fact i have a daughter that changed my life for the better. all the shit in my life has made me the person i am and i will never regret it. i'm stronger than i have ever been, and proud and just all around aware of people's bullshit. i just need to keep my life simple. thanks lynyrd. haha

Merry Christmas Everyone! hope everyone has a good one!

10:21PM

Man, i am bored as shit!!! someone come rescue me.

7:32PM - HELP!

DOES ANYONE KNOW OR CAN FIGURE OUT THE GUITAR TAB FOR THE BUSINESS "OUT IN THE COLD".



its a very rare song, but it's their best song ever. i can't hear the guitar good enough, so if you can or you have a way of getting it help me out. thanks.

1:38PM

damn, i am doing pretty good. last night at chili's i left the waitress with my number. she was real cute. anyways, all this shit that has been bothering me is gone. i feel free. i am glad it's over, my life is 10 times better now. all the drama and bullshit , fuck it. i pressed on and now i'm here, no more pain just moving on. i am meeting new people and i am finding stuff in people i have known for a while. it's nice, no more worries or sluts or drugs around me. just the people i want. eh i'm babbling, but i am smiling so thats all that matters. later

12:57PM

Are you RACIST?

Brought to you by the good folks at sacwriters.com.




hahaha (in a reggie jackson voice) "FUCK YOU CRACKAH!!!" hahaa.

12:38PM

How ASIAN are you?

Brought to you by the good folks at sacwriters.com.





hahahaha what the fuck?

12:02AM - To my little Scarlet, who makes me realise what i have to live and fight for!

i remember the day when we first met
with your big eyes staring at me
i said don't you cry as i cradled you in my arms
by your side i will always be
from the womb to this world, you were given life
your safety and warmth i'll oversee
i can't help but smile on this glorious day
for i know God has shined down on me
for i know God has shined down on me

my life has changed and its all for the best
and its all because of you
i've been blessed with the greatest gift of all
a babe so fair and true
you're a part of me, and i'm a part of you
nothing will ever stand in our way
come with me, and i'll show you the world
for you are the sunshine in my day
yeah, you are the sunshine in my day

nothing will ever keep us apart
yeah you and me, we are joined at the heart
sleep now as i sing you this lullaby
and when you wake i'll be by your side

11:47PM - Sometimes it takes pain for me to realize what i had

that final day has come to dawn
i'm off to no man's land
into the barbed wire, into the smoke
where one's dreams turn to sand
i look to the day when i'm in your arms
after the pain and misery of war
when i look into your eyes and see your smile
i know what i've been fighting for

chorus:
i'm off to the front, you must not cry
i'd die a thousand deaths before i'd live a lie
your love and trust in me is all i'd ever known
forget me not, because one day i'm coming home

shattered dreams lay all around me
yet my faith is strong
to see the future of you and me
keeps me carrying on
you're in my thoughts day and night
when i'm asleep your in my dreams
you're my sanity in this world of madness
thats filled with cries and screams

the train keeps on rolling
to where many before me have fell
for the blood and the glory and the sacrifice
of a generation fighting in hell
MAY I BE BRAVE AS THOSE BEFORE ME
staring the shadow of death in the eye
with passion and valor i'll stare in his face
for i'm not afraid to die

9:32PM - the truth is painful

if i had to live my life again, i'd live my life with you
your beauty shines as if a valkyrie, my love for you is true....
if i had to live my life again, i'd search the worlds for you, the beauty of our children, i'd owe my life to you.....
if i had to live my life again, and couldn't be with you, i wouldn't live my life again so i'd stay true to you

not to anyone in particular! just generally how i feel about my problems with a person. maybe i am caring to much for someone who doesn't even want or deserve it. but i can't help it.

9:20PM - this one brings inspiration

"i sat down by my grandad and this is what he said
if you do not defend our race, we will wind up dead
i listened to his storys on how all things should be
i looked inside this old man, he said these words to me

your are the sons of our race, you are the strength we need,
you are the eye, the eye of the storm, defenders of a blood we bleed

as your marching into battle, you hold your head up high
think of your freedom and your folk and you will do whats right
your birth rights been forsaken its killed a part of you
lady fate comes knocking, and deep inside you knew

you are the sons of our race, you are the strength we need,
you are the eye, the eye of the storm, defenders of a blood we bleed"

this song gives me inspiration. i love stonehammer, i'm not rascist, but it doesn't mean it doesn't give me the spirit to protect whats mine and to carry on my blood line and go into battle with passion and pride.